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Tech Support Chronicles

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Dr. Stan View Drop Down

Joined: 04 Jan 2016
Location: Sevierville, TN
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    Posted: 31 Oct 2017 at 4:00pm
Some of these are oldies . . .

Tech Support Chronicles:

Tech support:      How may I help you?
Customer:           I have a problem with my computer.
Tech support:      What kind of computer do you have?
Customer:           A white one . . .
Tech support:      OK, let's find out.  Click on the 'My Computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer:          Your left or my left?
Tech support:      How may I help you?
Customer:           Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print.  Every time I try, the computer says 'can't find printer".  I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says it can't find it.
Tech support:     How may I help you?
Customer:          My keyboard  is not working anymore.
Tech support:     Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer:          I don't know. I can't get behind the computer to see.
Tech support:     OK, pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer:          All right.
Tech support:     Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer:          Yes.
Tech support:    That means the keyboard is not plugged in.
Tech support:      How may I help you?
Customer:            I can't get on the Internet.
Tech support:      Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer:           Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support:      Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer:           Five dots.
Tech  support:    What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer:          Netscape.
Tech support:     That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer:          Oh, sorry . . . Internet Explorer.
Tech support:      How may I help you?
Customer:           I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
Tech support:      How may I help you?
Customer:           I'm writing my first email.
Tech support:      OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer:           Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the little circle around it?
Tech support:      How may I help you?
Customer:           I have a problem with my printer.
Tech support:      Are you running it under Windows?
Customer:           No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point.  The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.
Tech support:    OK, Bob, let's press the 'Control' and 'Escape' keys at the same time.  That will bring up a task list in the middle of the screen.  Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager.
Customer:         I don't have a P.
Tech support:    On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer:         What do you mean?
Tech support:    'P' . . . on your  keyboard, Bob.
Customer:         I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!!

It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues.~Abe Lincoln
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