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Zombie definition

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JrKrup, Skimmer View Drop Down
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    Posted: 03 Sep 2018 at 10:37pm
This clip is from one of Bob Hope's movies. Times haven't changed much.
 
 
Sorry, just too good to pass up. TongueEvil Smile
Jon Krup, Skimmer - Minesweeps
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Dr. Stan Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 Sep 2018 at 8:04pm
Originally posted by JrKrup, Skimmer JrKrup, Skimmer wrote:


Times haven't changed much.
 


No they have not.  And that was a good one, BTW.  I never really got Bob Hope until I was an adult.  Prior to that I thought he was boring.  So, times haven't changed much but sometimes people do.  Just saying . . .

After that video ended this one began.  It features a comedian whom I believe is one of the funniest ever.  Sadly, he is now deceased, but his comedy lives on.  Strangely, my wife doesn't think he is particularly funny.  But then, she doesn't get The Three Stooges, either.  So, maybe it's a gender thing?  Or perhaps some of us just like low jokes.

Rodney Dangerfield Funniest Jokes Ever On The Johnny Carson Show 1983
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cQLv7CG10B4

It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues.~Abe Lincoln
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Dr. Stan Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 Sep 2018 at 8:16pm
More Rodney . . .

With my old man I get no respect. I asked him, "How  can I get my kite in the air?"  He told me to run off a cliff. 
 
I went to a massage parlor. It was self-service.
 
It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass!
 
Last night my wife met me at the front door.  She was wearing a sexy negligee. Only trouble was, she was coming home from the neighbor's house.
 
A girl phoned me and said, 'Come on over. There's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home!
 
A hooker once told me she had a headache.
 
I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, 'Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?' She said, 'No, I hate myself now.'
 
My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.
 
The other day I came home early and a guy was jogging, naked. I asked him, 'Why?' He said, 'Because you came home early.'
 
My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer.
 
I know I'm not sexy. When I put my underwear on I can hear the Fruit-of-the-Loom guys giggling.
 
My wife is such a bad cook.  In my house we pray after the meal.
 
My wife likes to talk to me during sex; last night she called me from the Marriott.
 
My family was so poor that if I hadn't been born a boy, I wouldn't have had anything to play with.
 
It's been a rough day. I got up this morning and put a shirt on and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase, and the handle came off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom.
 
I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and radio.
 
I was such an ugly baby that my mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend.
 
I'm so ugly my father carried around a picture of the kid that came with his wallet.
 
I'm so ugly my mother had morning sickness AFTER I was born
 
I remember the time that I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
 
Once when I was lost, I saw a policeman, & asked him to help me find my parents. I said to him, "Do you think we'll ever find them?" He said, "I don't know kid. There's so many places they can hide."
 
My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday
 
I went to see my doctor. "Doctor, every morning when I get up and I look in the mirror I feel like throwing up. What's wrong with me?" He said: "Nothing, your eyesight is perfect."
 
One year they wanted to make me a poster boy -- for birth control.
 
My uncle's dying wish was to have me sitting in his lap; he was in the electric chair.
 
 

THAT'S WHY WE MISS RODNEY DANGERFIELD
It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues.~Abe Lincoln
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